It's a very well written and thought out letter. How much it will help is anyone's guess but if it spares one individual and family pain, it will be worth it. I like the proactive approach....

WOW! "bring your child to the dance yourself, or send them with another parent you trust to keep a close eye on them prior to the dance. Do not let them go to a friend’s house or get to the dance on their own". In other words, do not trust that you raised your child correctly? That's a great a message to send to my kids.... Son, I realize that tonight is the RHS Backwoods. Because you're too young and dumb to make your own decisions, I've decided to take you to the dance myself so as to be sure you don't binge drink. Additionally, I will hold your hand upon entering the dance so I can catch you if you happen to trip. I will then follow you around the dance and whisper in your ear the appropriate responses to any social conversations you may have. Nice idea to alert parents, but poorly written.

glad I am not JAFOs kid. Bitter smart ass. I liked the letter. And I am sure just trusting you kids and not being involved will stop binge drinking. Yeah right.

The trouble is, there's a lot of JAFOs out there. They think they are cool parents and that their kids tell them everything. The reality is, these kids aren't open and honest about the things they don't want their cool parents to know.

As a parent of a 16 year old boy, I think of the old President Reagan statement. 'Trust but verify" Our children's brain is not fully formed until 21. My job is to help them get to 18 or 21 hopefully drug free & alcohol free. I have the toughest job - parent. It also can be the most rewarding.

Well written letter guys! As for JAFO, many, many parents r in denial about their teenagers. We all witnessed this first hand at several dances where parents came to pick up their teen who pre-gamed and couldn't believe it . As stated, most young adults do not realize the power of alcohol until it is too late. The delayed reaction is what hurts and then there is no turning back. As for JAFO, if your son should falter, we will be there to catch his fall.

I feel bad for all you helicopter parents who obviously don't have confidence in their kids being able to make the right decision.

JAFO needs a reality check. Good luck!

The kids that are going to pregame are the kids that are already drinking; it doesn't matter whether there is a dance or not. Teenage drinking has been around forever. And the comment about keeping kids "drug and alcohol free" until 21...LOL?

Alcohol and drug use and binge drinking are family, school, and community issues. So in that regard the very well intended letter reinforces that concern. I would have preferred the signature line to have included H&SA officials, school officials as well as those of the sponsors. After the event is concluded, which I'm sure will be successful, we might reflect on the absence of those other signatures.

your kids are going to drink- ok some will, some wont- that is true. but teach them how to be responsible. don't drink & drive, don't ge tin the car, they can call no matter what without penelty- you can have a few beers but don't get stupid. if parents just learned how to tal and not preach, or to trust you have taught well- or that your kids have a brain and can do the right thing, maybe life would be different.
i do find it ironic that we teach our kids all these things but we go out for dinner and have wine or beer, we go to parties, spring socials, octoberfest, football games(tailgating) but we demand that our kids don't drink - children learn by example-

Kathy,

Your son needs to stop being such a prude.

If he is really shocked by drinking, making out, grinding, and breasts, he's going to be in for a real shock once he goes to college.

Just a reminder folks. The old scene we have in our minds of teenagers hanging around outside a liquor store trying to get a grown up to buy beer for them, went out many years ago. Not only that, but it no longer costs them any money. Their booze is easily obtained at home from mom and dad's well-stocked collection. Oh, and those zolofts, paxils, percosets, oxycontins, cough syrups, etc., they are coveted too. Look, no-one wants to be a helicopter parent, and we like to think we have a great open relationship with our kids, the kind of relationship that we never quite had with our parents. Yes, we're different. Our kids listen to the same music as us, something we never did with our parents. Just remember that just like we spin things and tell convenient untruths at work, our teenage kids are doing the same to us. Most of the time we are blissfully unaware, and our kids make it through to real adulthood relatively unscathed, but the reality is our kids are getting high, drunk (and driving), having unprotected sex, cheating on tests, and stealing your pills and booze. Good luck. Odds on they will come through fine. Some won't.

Raul, if you had seen breasts when you were 15, is "shocked" (in the negative sense) really the reaction you would have had?

While I agree with you that its great for a son and parent to have a great, communicative relationship, I don't think that what these kids did means that they have a low sense of self-respect or class. They just want to be kids and have fun. They're going to have fun -- which for some includes drinking, engaging in sexual activity, etc -- no matter what parents try to do; better they do it in a semi-chaperoned environment than empty homes or basements.

Let kids be kids, and don't try and mold them into prudes that aren't ready for the real world come college.

RR I don't think you'd be taking such a laid back approach if that was your daughter exposing her breasts in the middle of town square. That is totally unacceptable behavior at any age. Parents, be parents and teach kids what's right and what is wrong. Sorry, but for a girl to be exposing her breasts like that shows a low sense of self respect and NO CLASS.

I find when it comes to drinking in Ridgewood the parents are a big part of the problem.As for drug use this town and those next door it is a open air bazaar.

Hmm.. Seems my comment was deleted... We wouldn't have these problems if the drinking age wasn't so ridiculously high in this country. They don't have problems like this in Europe because kids LEARN how to control their drinking at an early age, and at functions like this alcohol consumption is controlled by bar tenders. Being 23 years old I remember what it was like to be in these situations, I was not a big drinker in my teen years but when I did want to drink I was forced into chugging large amounts of alcohol in small amount of time because I was threatened with being in trouble if I was caught with it.

If we just loosened the regulations a little bit, I'm not saying change the laws, but control it, instead of stopping kids from drinking allow them to have a few drinks but keep it to that there wouldn't be an issue. I guarantee it. Parents, take it from someone who remembers what it was like DON'T try to stop your kids from drinking they will do it anyway and more dangerously, instead provide a SAFE place for them to experiment and have their fun.

I believe bickering on the Ridgewood Patch website shows no self-respect and no class. SnakelordSupreme out.

This is absolutely ridiculous. As a former student of RHS, sheltering your kids like this can actually prove to be more destructive in the future. This is my first year of college and in the short amount of time I have been here, I have already witnessed kids who were over protected by their parents, become too excited with the idea of freedom and go crazy. They are new to the idea of drinking before going out and with no one to check on them every 20 minutes they do not feel the need to control themselves. There is no way to protect your kids from all alcohol forever, unless you intend on your children not attending college and living with you forever. If anything, these dances made me become more responsible with my drinking habits. I also strongly believe that if parents choose to baby their kids, they will end up rebelling and acting out in different more severe ways. Kids make mistakes, especially if they are too stupid to understand their limits. Drinking is something that every single one of your children will have to face one day or another, and the only way to ensure their safety with this "lethal weapon" is to open and up front with them about it.

Perhaps if we instead focused on the responsibility of drinking and the effects and consequences it actually has in our society, on our behavior, our health and our relationships with each other rather than continually tasking these DARE inspired scare tactics towards complete abstinence we wouldn't face problems of the extreme excessive drinking that leads to immediate health effects like alcohol poisoning. We continue this approach that is very reminiscent of the south's treatment of sex education and magically hope that by continually lying to our children they will somehow swear off the evils of alcohol until they turn the magical age of 21 where somehow drinking becomes partially a responsible activity that can be tolerated and accepted in our society. Kids are always going to drink. The problem is not stopping them from drinking... the problem is changing the behavioral and societal attitudes that lead to the excessive forms of alcohol abuse that have immediate consequence. Drinking, and alcohol, is not necessarily an evil and to continually say it is will never help your position, Ridgewood Public Schools.

I graduated from RHS, so let me tell you, I've seen all side of the issue.

as I walk the CBD, the actions of the RHS students and the words from their mouths demonstrates a lack of character. many of them act like they are cool, but they are dopes