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Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sitting at a Beachside Café With My Father

A eulogy for a fallen father.

My father died this week. He lived a long, full life.. 87 years worth, most of those years any one of us would have been happy to have lived. I tell myself this over and over, that he was a lucky man, that he shared a remarkable love story with my mother, so long ago, that he truly was blessed. But still I feel miserable. Alone. Lost. Wanting more of him. I really do feel like a 10-year-old girl. Little lost orphan.  We would meet for lunch, down the shore. By then he had already begun to show signs of dementia and with it an unexpected sweetness. Gone was the gruffness I saw as a kid, which continued throughout my college years, into my thirties. Now it was just the two of us, sitting face-to-face at some beachside cafe, talking with long…

Photo of the Week: Dads Storm the Stage

The week's most thought-provoking picture.

In a tradition stretching back to 1944, dads from Somerville and Hawes Elementary Schools offered their kids and spouses a look at their more creative sides. Assuming center stage at Benjamin Franklin Middle School this weekend, the 66th-annual Dads' Night variety show featured more than 200 dads in silly, wacky skits. The free show raised money through local advertisers, and the dads will donate more than $30,000 to their respective elementary schools. Residents weathered the nasty wind storm to support their dads and the schools. March 1 to 7 For a second straight week, Village Council grappled with issues spurred on by larger governmental bodies. Last week, council heard South Broad Street residents speak out against an affordable …

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Surrender to Life's Lessons

Surrender yourself to life's lessons, in lieu of dwelling on them, and you will find peace in your heart.

The dictionary defines surrender as the "giving up of one's position." The other night, after attending my oldest son's third-grade play, I found myself surrendering to life's course. Prior to attending the play, my son called to let me know he only wanted his mother and father to attend this Oscar-winning performance, which disappointed my partner, DC Stein and her son, who were looking forward to participating in this family event.  I surrendered my choice in this situation for the sake of my son's wishes, which came back to slap my rosy cheeks hard when I stepped into the auditorium to see my ex-wife and her ill-influencing childhood friend glaring from across the middle-aged sea of heads filling the folding chairs. I surrendered to my …

Friday, March 12, 2010

Buying Flowers at the Supermarket

Should you or shouldn’t you?

Never mind the shamrock pots dotting the edges of the flower or produce section of local supermarkets right now. The key question is really the Easter holiday. Do you go to a florist, or do you pick up what the supermarket has to offer and make your own arrangement? Being cheap, I opt for making my own, though you will find lots of Web sites that insist florists' flowers are fresher. I beg to differ. Not every florist provides fresh flowers. My husband once spent a fortune on a birthday arrangement for me at a Ridgewood florist who we had used quite successfully in the past. When the arrangement came, it looked as if the florist took whatever was left in the case and stuck the stems in a vase with water. None of the leaves below the …

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Emotional Infidelity

An emotional affair generally starts innocently enough as a friendship.

"An emotional affair generally starts innocently enough as a friendship. Through investing emotional energy and time with one another outside the marriage relationship, the former platonic friendship can begin to form a strong emotional bond which hurts the intimacy of the marriage relationship. While there are those who believe that an emotional affair is harmless, most marriage experts view an emotional affair as cheating without having a sexual relationship... About 50 percent of such emotional involvements do eventually turn into full-blown affairs, sex and all." Source: MSNBC For some individuals, the most hurtful and painful consequence of an emotional affair is the sense of being deceived, betrayed, and lied to. According to M. Gary…

Friday, March 5, 2010

Buying Shrimp: It’s a Tricky Job

Wild or farmed? Asian or South American? Defrosted or frozen?

There's little doubt that America's favorite seafood is shrimp—whether boiled, grilled, fried or baked. Unless you live along the Gulf or Southeast coast, you'll rarely get the opportunity to buy fresh shrimp. They don't last more than a couple of days, so the shrimp we get have all been frozen, coming to market in 5-pound blocks from Asia and South America. The one exception: At certain times of the year, you can get small Maine shrimp that were overnighted to Peter's Fish Market in Midland Park, known better to aficionados as simply, "Pete's." We've also seen them in Whole Foods. Consumer advocates complain that there is little or no regulation of imported shrimp even though it accounts for 90 percent of the U.S. market, with the bulk …

Thursday, March 4, 2010

A Point Of View

Ridgewood resident Shannon Morgan demonstrates her concerns on the renovated train platform.

Living with a disability offers daily challenges. Though a major renovation to the Ridgewood Rail Station is attempting to address some of these, Ridgewood resident Shannon Morgan has a different point of view.

I spent two summers working at a community hospital in Warren, Michigan in the physical therapy department. Believe me, I can personally relate to people with any type of physical disability. I used to go home every night and thank God that I could play tennis, ride my bike and do other things that people who need devices such as wheelchairs, walkers and canes couldn't do. I'm sure Ridgewood is …  more ›

Monday, March 1, 2010

Conquering the Laurentians—An Exercise Class

What gets 'The Maybe Chronicles' sweating to the oldies?

After more than two decades of mediocre stabs at an exercise regimen, I seem to have stumbled upon one that not only works for me, but also brings out my wholehearted unabashed devotion. At first, I admit, I was wary, as my sister claimed it was the hardest workout she'd ever had, and I'd heard similar excruciating tales from friends. But once I got in the saddle—yes, that's the name for the seat—and slid my foot into that nicely secure toe cage, I was off and riding, so to speak. Within the confines of that stationary bike, spin class was the perfect blend of mind imagery, terrific music (assuming the instructor has a decent ear) and honest-to-goodness towel-saturated sweating. I'd close my eyes and actually feel the steep grade of those …

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Playing the Victim

At 18, grab your nether region and scream out, "I am an adult, and I am responsible for my own actions!"

I am an ADULTERER, and will always be! I have to wrap my big, Irish head around this prehistoric religious commandment and swallow my inheritance of being. My ex-wife will always be the victim in our past relationship, for the soul purpose of exposing my lustful sin against her motherly MORALS. But like they say, in male-female fodder, "There are three truths—his, hers, and the TRUTH."  I believe this statement is due solely to the fact that I lived it. Emotions mess up the canvas of facts, which allows the parties involved to visualize their own realities. Due to my own inexcusable act, I will forever be cast among the forgotten—periodically seen through dated albums and scattered images of people past. This will be my legacy seen …

Saturday, February 27, 2010

New Jersey—Taxed to Death? Or Not Taxed Enough?

Are we really paying more taxes than we used to?

Editor's note: The following is a guest column originally published on Maplewood Patch Feb. 23. Here in New Jersey it has become conventional wisdom that we are grossly overtaxed—that tax cuts are the only cure for the slew of evils besetting us. After having watched my own property tax bills more than double since I moved to Maplewood in 1997, it was a sentiment I found hard to gainsay. I did wonder though, if my taxes are so high, why does there seem to be no money available to pay for anything? Our schools and municipalities, after all, have been retrenching and cutting back on programs almost continuously during my entire 13-year tenure in the state, despite vertiginous (some might say outrageous, or even confiscatory) local tax …

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